Sunday, February 21, 2016

Da capa: return to the beginning

I'm not sure if you've heard of the semicolon project: survivors of depression and suicide have adopted the ; as a symbol - reflecting its grammatical use when an author could use a full stop, and finish their sentence (and its story),  but instead chooses to use a semicolon and then to continue to explore their theme a little longer. That idea has a lot of resonance for those who have faced the black lure of suicide, but who have chosen to come back from the brink and reaffirm their struggle to overcome and endure.

I've been to some very dark places over the last few years; there's been a few times where I wasn't sure I would ever see light and colour - or feel *anything* - again. But, so far, I've always had the love and unquestioning support of my Geoff, my Handler, my close friends and family - and that has always been just enough to see me through to the other side.

I wanted a reminder to myself that no matter how dark it gets, I have faced and overcome darker. I also wanted to incorporate the healing power of music (time at the piano always seems to take me out of myself so I can find balance and healing) - and so I came up with a symbolic combination of the semicolon and the musical symbol for da capa: 'return to the beginning before finishing'. Last week, my lovely friend and beautiful tattoo artist, Jo Harrison, then very kindly worked it for me around my ring finger - and added the eternity symbol to remind me that life is a continuous and endless cyclical process. 

I've had lots of ink, but this really hurt like hell - but it was a good hurt: the kind of hurt that brands an idea and a pledge into your soul: NEVER give up hope. 

Of all my ink, I think this one will be my favourite for a long time - it certainly is the most meaningful.


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