Sunday, August 07, 2011

"Porn is not real..."

i recently read a very sad entry from a young pup's blog: threatening to 'hang up his paws' out of frustration that younger pup's are chosen whilst he remains un-collared and feeling unloved - and quoting various blogs and sites as examples of how everyone else is getting it whilst he is not.

It really upset me to read of his depression and self-harming. i guess i recognised some of that toxic blend of obsession and guilt, frustration and unhappiness from my own youth - and so i left a comment:

"Hey pup,
sorry you're feeling blue and unloved. i know depression: i have suffered most of my life, and been mildly medicated for it for the last year or so, so i sympathise.

i was a lonely and unhappy teenager and adult: not chubby, but over-intellectual, anorexic-ally thin, with huge glasses and dreadful acne - not to mention painfully shy and a guilt-ridden catholic :) i hated myself for my sexuality and my growing perversity, yet was also utterly fixated on it too. i was totally convinced that i would never find love, and that i was doomed to live an unsatisfied and miserably short life.

But then i found real love in an ordinary guy - almost by accident. He wasn't physically anything like the men i fantasised about; he wasn't a Master, or big, or sexy or even fantastically kinky - he was just a nice ordinary guy who treated my kindly and showed me the incredible healing happiness there is in *being* ordinary: sans anything beyond simple friendship and day-to-day love and support. His love and normality literally saved my life.
We fell in love - slowly, and without Hollywood fireworks or day-time soap dramas: just a gradual process of learning to live together with quiet compassion and respect. We are still together, more than 20 years later - and each day is as normal and beautiful as the first.   
i was doubly lucky in that i was also found and later collared by an equally beautiful but ultimately "ordinary" Man who taught me to love and embrace my long-hidden pup-self - and that being kinky can be equally playful and stress-free (in fact: the less stress and expectations, the better and more playful it becomes!)
 
It's hard to see the truth whilst you are young and raging with hormones - but honestly: Sex and kink are not the be all and end all of everything. No matter what you read or see (especially on the net!), sex is *just* sex: immense fun though it can be, it does only form a tiny part of what makes for a balanced and healthy life!
Our 'Community' is one based around sex and kink, and the trouble with that is that it makes sex seem like the core of ourselves and the ultimate purpose for everything; but the internet lies: we are not all having fantastic world-shattering sex with beautiful hunks - nor are we living blissful, carefree lives as the collared pets of mysterious and fabulously wealthy Men. That's porn - and porn is not real.
The more you lack something, the more you want it; the more you strive for it, the harder it becomes to attain - it's the same with sex. But even though it feels like it - everyone else is *not* getting it all the time; not even those who boast that they are. So you're not getting to be collared at the moment, very few people are ever that lucky! - and those that do get collared find that it is not the wonderful porn-filled life that they expected but rather just a normal relationship with all the same arguments and irritations - just with a collar on. But, that's what being human and in love is all about...

Don't believe the lie we all tell ourselves: that there's the right Man out there who will collar us, take away our pain, and make our lives happy forever. And certainly don't believe that if you change yourself in some way you'll find Him. 
No-one ever finds completion in someone else.  
Learn to find you - not you-the-pup, or you-the-slave - not even you-the-loved; just YOU your SELF. Don't try to find yourself in someone else, or someone else who will make you love yourself (or punish you and let you transfer your self-hate onto them).   
Don't define yourself by your sexuality, or your kink - by what you wear or who you listen to - not even by whether you take it or give. You are not your cock or your arse...

Know yourself, LOVE yourself.

The rest will come."

2 comments:

  1. Feel free to share my contact information with sad-pup.

    zentulku@gmail.com
    zentulku on Yahoo!, AIM, RubberZone, PupZone, etc.

    ReplyDelete

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