Friday, February 18, 2011

Masters are Human too...

i recently had an exchange with a Sir on Recon. The Sir had been going through a rough time recently, and the pup was telling Him that He is not alone - that it has been through several bouts of depression, and the one thing that it has learnt is that, no matter how dark it seems now, things do get better with time.

The particulars are not important, but the exchange reminded me that us subs and pups sometimes forget a deep and essential truth:

Masters are Human too.

All too often - in our fantasies and in our play - we project so much upon our Handlers and Masters that we forget that under all that regalia and Dominance there is a Man - and all men have their frailties and weaknesses, stresses and upsets. Just because He is encased in a beautiful shell of leather, do not forget that His shoulders are only so wide - and He cannot carry both His problems and yours (at least, not for long!)

As subs and pups, we often use play as a way to momentarily escape - or to explore the sensitive underbelly of our psyche: most often to do with issues of personal power, self-worth and submission. But equally, Masters have those same issues too!

We think that surrendering power is hard: try being the Man learning to accept that power - and the responsibility which that entails. The Man who finds He has to be Master to both you and Himself.

We think that discovering a desire to be dominated is a big deal - but our society is full of role models for the honour in self-sacrifice; there are far fewer positive models for the Man who takes control over others, or who inflicts pain and suffering. Imagine the struggle to contain *that* self-revelation within the belief that you are still a 'good person'...


When we pups have a problem, it is our natural reaction to seek solace and advice from our Masters. But where does a Master go when He finds Himself overwhelmed?

The Sir i spoke to confessed that He found it hard to ask for help - or to rely on others. A Master is 'supposed' to be self-contained and strong, and it just wasn't in His nature to accept 'defeat'. He felt that asking for help was a form of attention seeking - a weakness that he could not allow Himself.

But, it's not attention seeking to ask for help when you need it - just wisdom.

Masters *are* human too - and need the love and support that every man needs. Just as He supports us when we need it - so it is up to us to notice when He needs that help too, and to freely give Him the support He needs. Without comment or drama - just quietly and with love and compassion.

It is up to us to remind Him that - sometimes - it is OK for Him to lie back and let us take the strain. That our service can include making His life a little easier and less fraught - not just sexually, but emotionally too.

In fact - isn't that the exact meaning of service anyway - and making our Man happy the very reason we were called to be pups in the first place?

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