Thursday, February 10, 2011

About Trust, Love and pup-play.

"You guys looked awesome last night - it was so nice to see a Handler and pup with such an affectionate attitude towards each other - thanks so much for coming....!!!"

Both pup and Handler received that message via Recon - from a very sexy rubber pig who had seen us playing at Primal on Saturday. i can't say how pleasant it is to receive such compliments - and know that guys appreciate watching us play (and fuck!).

But even more so - it is wonderful to know that they can see the affection implicit within the bond between us.

i've written before about the misconception that some have about the role that humiliation plays within pup-play and BDSM in general (most specifically in the posts on 'Less than human?' , 'Thoughts on puppy-hood' and 'Thoughts on Ownership'), but it is an ongoing and misleading idea - and not just amongst the non-BDSM public.

Some seem to think that because a pup is on all fours and on a leash that it must desire to be degraded and dehumanised. They see a man being treated 'like an animal', and think that he must feel a deep and abiding shame at being treated so (whether or not he also gets a kick from such humiliation) - and that the desire for such humiliation must be at the core of what it means to recognise yourself as a dog.

Equally, they think that the Master must get a sadistic kick from treating another with scorn and disdain. That His sense of personal power is fed by the control He exerts through abusing His 'Mutt' and making it obey His commands against its will - that it only obeys Him out of fear or shame - or from some internalised and half understood homophobic self-loathing...

That might be true of some dog-slaves - and of some BDSM scenes - but in this pup's experience, such sadism is very rare in pup-play itself.

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Handler has taught me from the start that i may be a dog, but i am not a mutt or a cur: i am His much loved friend and k9 companion - His 'service-dog' when on His leash, perhaps, but more respected and cared for than any family pet could wish for - since i am capable of giving Him back so much more than any biological dog ever could.

As He Himself replied to the recon message...:

"We have so much fun when we play and I can't imagine bootbrush and I being any other way - he is such a good playmate AND friend too."

There is a difference between dog-slaves and pups: Pups serve their Men because they are devoted to them. They give of themselves out of love - and serve for the pleasure of serving itself - and of making their Owner Proud.

In return, the Master is fed by the pleasure of guiding and protecting His pup - of returning its sacrifice with the unshakable security in knowing that He loves His dog and will always take care of it.

Both of their emotional needs are met in that endless and perfect exchange: dog to Man and Man to dog. Just as their sexual needs are met in the exchange of His giving and the dog receiving (and vice versa: the giving of oneself implicit in the act of receiving too).

There is no humiliation involved in the act of being a pup - only pure pride to be able to let go of oneself so deeply that you can tap your instincts and needs with pure abandon. Doing so requires a deep level of Trust, only possible through the bond carefully established over time and experience - the knowledge that you can give without fear.

The act of collaring is not then being taken as a possession, but a releasing to that deep inner need all pups have to give of ourselves to those whom we love until there is nothing more to give - safe in the knowledge that what we surrender is held safe for us and then returned, stronger than before.

When i say to my Master: "i am YOURS" it is in willing sacrifice and conscious submission - a recognition that i submit my body to His desire, my mind to His care, and my heart to His love.

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Equally - pup-play is PLAY. It is - and is supposed to be - FUN!

Such playfulness is at the heart of what it means to be a pup - and the playful romping, the laughter and 'sillyness' that occurs outside of the sexual scenes serve only to bind both Man and hound ever closer with affection and love.

There can be no humiliation in play - only love, life, affection and fulfillment.

And that is what it also means to be a pup.

3 comments:

  1. A few nights ago I saw a snippet of an interview on YouTube with Joni Mitchell. The gist of the thing was "I can only touch souls if I reveal my own."

    And that's what you do. You really do touch me very deeply, and that's because of your immense honesty. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank You Sir - i can't think of kinder words that a pup could wish to hear!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Amin, you put exactly my desire in words.

    It's difficult to explain, how I am not into SM, but at the same time dream to be transformed and collared as a pup, by my lovely man. (who btw is not into that)

    ReplyDelete

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