Wednesday, January 20, 2010

On mindfulness and loving sacrifice...

Yesterday i complimented a Top on Recon for the photos (and description) of His rope work.

He was surprised that i commented on the pleasure and honour that His subjects must feel at His care and attention to detail in transforming them into works of art. He was surprised, and said that He though few would understand those sentiments - that for most He had met, bondage was simply a means to an end: a way to be forced to submit. Worse yet, even those who fantasised of being at a Master's mercy rarely had the courage to act on that fantasy - or wanted to control the action completely with rules and wish-lists when they finally met with a Top.

When i asked 'Aren't they proud simply to love and serve?', He laughed...

It got me thinking. On lots of levels: on not letting fear place limits on our lives, on the symbiotic Bond between Master and boy, and on the mindfulness that can come in the freely given act of loving sacrifice...

'There is nothing to fear but fear itself...'

If there is something you wish for in your life - something you desire - how you can let your fear keep you from it? i know that sometimes the power of our fantasies can be frightening - and that it can feel safer to leave them where they are - as fantasies - rather than face the reality of making them real. But Life is the summation of the experiences you have had - and surely you should embrace each and every one, and take every chance that comes to you.

We are a long time dead, and i for one do not wish to die thinking 'if only...'

So i say: Trust yourself - be careful and wise in who you chose to play with - and then give yourself the chance to be empowered and changed by embracing an experience outside of what you think is your 'comfort space'...

'On the Zen of slavery'

There is something profound in the ebb and flow between a Master and His boy - their shared weaving of Dominance and submission, of His power and the boy's service - when both players consciously give themselves to that exchange, it can transform them both, and truly elevate their play to art - or maybe even an act of worship...

Shibari and rope-bondage in particular can open that space: it takes time and focus to tie - to compose the intricate web that will both bind the boy and hold him safe. And that is time for the Bond to deepen and transcend mere 'sex'...

There is discipline in the tying - and in being tied; a sharing of the work in making art... There is no sound but the burr of rope against rope - and of your breathing falling into rhythm with each other... And with each knot and weave the boy can feel the Master's growing control of His body - and willingly surrenders to His power - he can feel the Master's gaze, the Mastery in His hands as it transmits itself into the rope...

But in truth - *any* mindful act of quiet submission will deepen that bond - and stretch the moment of surrender into a perfect eternity where the edges between the players can dissolve. Losing yourself in the pure perfect act of giving pleasure to Another - of willingly and joyfully giving your body to Them - frees you from yourself and your limitations; it can lift you out of time and into a perfect experience of simply 'being'...

On mindfulness and loving sacrifice

i meditate daily - it is a practice of being fully aware, fully in the moment - of not controlling my experience, but just being in it - irrespective of whether it is 'good' or 'bad'...

In some ways i recognise that this is also my mind-set when i am 'pup': and there is an immediacy and openness to the experience that is deeply liberating.

i try to also cultivate that openness in play - to be consciously and perfectly present, even whilst i give myself over to my Master and what He will do to me.

When i give Him my body - or my service - it is as a gift - lovingly and fully given - and so i want that giving to be fully aware, and honestly done. Anything less gives disservice to the Man i wish to serve, and belittles me in the act of not giving.

But when He accepts that gift - i know that we are *both* honoured; it's more than just the pleasure He may take from my body or submission, more than my own pleasure in serving and giving Him respectful devotion - because in His acceptance of my freely given submission we are both empowered. In my submission He becomes Master, in His dominance i become pup - we both release in the other what is there in potential, and deepen the Bond between us into something bigger than us both.

My submission does not belittle me or make me less than i was - it is a chance to give honour to He who deserves it, and to be honoured in return for the act of giving.

And so what is there to fear in kneeling and giving yourself in Trust to One who you know you *can* Trust? Who could miss that chance to be greater than they are...?

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